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|"NOTHING LIKE BARAK OBAMA'S FATHER"|
|Written by Joshua Ryan Sinclair|
|Wednesday, 11 February 2009|
"NOTHING LIKE BARAK OBAMA'S FATHER"
Joshua Ryan Sinclair and "The ONE-Man March - A Father's Walk For [LOVE &] Justice (Part 1)"
During the Summer of 2001 I was blessed to be able to WALK (every eventually painful step of the way) From the Hall Of [IN-]justice here in Rochester, NY, to the State Capitol in Albany, NY, then to our Nation's Capitol and the Lincoln Monument.
The primary purpose was to direct attention to the most vital (albeit CRITICAL) yet-to-be fulfilled prophecy in all of the Scriptures: Malachi 4:5&6 - And to also establish an absolutely undeniable and unfading "Legacy of Love" for my two young sons from my previous marriage, Evan & Ethan - especially because of the fact that they have been "Totally Alienated" from me (unjustly and "without cause") for TEN YEARS THUSFAR (since Monday, January 25th, 1999)! - Even though I was a "STAY-AT-HOME DAD" and their "PRIMARY CAREGIVER", until that dreadful day - And throughout those ten years they have been maliciously used as "weapons" against me by a "Brigade of Bigots" in the Monroe County Family Court and it affiliated agencies: The Law Guardian Program; Monroe County Child Protective Services (CPS); and the so-called Society for the Protection and Care of Children S.P.C.C.), all of whom have been working in concert to prevent my two young sons (now 17 & 13 respectively) from having any contact with me what-so-ever, and have evidently brainwashed my sons into believing that I "abandoned" them.
Obviously, the fact that I exposed and directed some media attention to their woefully unethical practices and their blatant bias and bigotry by planning and participating in "The ONE-Man March" certainly was a significant reason why the Family Court and the aforementioned agencies became (and remain) determined to punish me by enabling (if not actually encouraging or even pressuring) my ex-wife to purge me completely out of our children's lives, despite the fact that ALL of her (3 abruptly concockted) allegations of abuse against me were soon proven to be woefully false.
When my plans to participate in "The ONE-Man March" became manifest to the "Bigot's Brigade", my ex-wife was persuaded (if not actually pressured) to file yet another woefully frivolous petition against me, but since her abuse allegations were proven to be false, their strategy was altered and my ex-wife (who, along with her new, live-in boyfriend, had moved out of our marital residence and secretely relocated our children and refused to inform me where they relocated them to) was promptly granted yet another woefully fraudulent Order of Protection against me claiming that the "FLIERS" which I designed and was distributing to promote the "ONE-Man March" and to inform concerned citizens about the blatant bias and bigotry that was being practiced in and by the Family Court, and about my children's dire plight (containing a photo of my two, young sons, under the caption: "Do You Know Where - and HOW - My Children Are?!?") constituted "harassment" against my ex-wife and was "demeaning to [our] children"!
I am convinced that my ex-wife was especially presuaded or pressured to file that particular petition and was granted that particular Order of Protection because the various members of the "Bigot's Brigade" was attempting to intimidate me and to pressure me into abandoning my plans to participate in "The ONE-Man March".
Still, I continued with my plans and eventually received some threats "through the grapevine" that one or more attempts might be made on my life if I had the audacity to follow-through on my plans and actually WALK all the way to Albany, NY, and then Washington, DC (along hundreds of miles of lonely rural roads). I informed the FBI, and the State Police in each of the states that I intended to walk through, of my plans and of the threats, and I remained steadfast.
I also informed the local media, as well as each of the major network's investigative news shows and morning shows, but NONE showed any interest (albeit WILLINGNESS & INTEGRITY) in reporting on "The ONE-Man March" and/or the blatant and indisputable bias and bigotry being practiced in the Monroe County Family Court etc. and/or my children's dire plight.
The 1983 Conversion Van was previously purchased for our homebased clothing business my ex-wife's late-Aunt, and it was going to be used as my "Support Vehicle" during "The ONE-Man March", and the place where I would sleep each night instead of hotels or motels. But on this particular day (during my continued preparations for "The ONE-Man March") - I was asked to give my young niece a ride, during which the left rear wheel come off while I was making a turn. SOMEONE HAD EITHER LOOSENED OR REMOVED ALL OF THE LUG NUTS!
Later, about a week prior to my scheduled departure date for "The ONE-Man March" - SOMEONE EVIDENTLY PLACED SUGAR AND/OR MOLASSES IN THE VAN'S FUEL TANK (DESTROYING THE ENGINE) - So, I was thus compelled to postpone "The ONE-Man March".
I attempted to file a petition for an Order of Protection against my ex-wife and her live-in boyfriend (citing the aforementioned "threats" and subsequent sabotage of the van. I also attempted to file the same petition "On Behalf Of" our two, young sons because of the "PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE" that they were being subjected to by being blatantly and maliciously "TOTALLY ALIENATED" from me, unjustly and "WITHOUT CAUSE." But, like each and every one of the petitions that I have EVER attempted to file with the Monroe County Family Court (for visitation and custody etc.), that petition was also promptly "DENIED".
One year later, an elderly woman (who I was living with as a missionary and volunteer caregiver and advocate for the elderly) kindly offered to let me use an old, rusted, 18 passenger church van that had been parked and unmoved in her yard for about a decade, as my "Support Vehicle" if I did some repair work on it and cleaned it up. Which I did.
I again informed the local and national media, and the FBI and various State Police Departments again. Although it was about "High Noon" that I departed from in front of the Hall Of [IN-]justice, and the main offices for Rochester's primary newspaper, The Democrat and Chronicle, is right next door to and less than 100 feet away from the courthouse, and many of the newspaper's reporters and other employees were outside in front of their building and in the grass court in front of the courthouse, Rochester's main newspaper (as well as the rest of the local media) absolutely refused to report on the fact that one of their own residents - A VERY PROUD AND LOVING AFRICAN-AMERICAN MAN AND MOST DEVOTED FATHER - was literally walking to the State Capitol in Albany, NY, and then to the Nation's Capitol, in Washington, DC, to prove his love for his two, young sons etc.
The African-American editor of the D&C's editorial page once mentioned to me that they would not report on "The ONE-Man March" or my children's dire plight (not to mention the blatant bias and bigotry being practiced in the Monroe County Family Court and it's affiliated agencies) because it is the newspaper's policy not to report on any custody cases. Recent history and the D&C's own archives will reveal the fact that that policy obviously does not apply to tabloid-like celebrity custody cases and a few other custody cases like the Elian Gonzales custody battle. By the way, the Family Court's Supervising Judge, Ann-Marie Taddio, was running for re-election, and although I previously informed the D&C about the my children's dire plight and the fact that Judge Taddio was directly involved and PRIMARILY RESPONSIBLE for the blatant bias and bigotry being practiced in the Family Court pertaining to my two, young sons (Hence, the leader of the "Bigot's Brigade"!) - THE D&C GAVE JUDGE TADDIO THEIR "ENDORCEMENT" FOR RE-ELECTION.
The D&C is a Gannett Newspaper, and the Gannett Newspapers seemed to own just about every major newspaper in every big city that I walked through during "The ONE-Man March", so I guess I should not have been surprised when NONE of the primary newspapers in ANY of the big cities that I walked to was willing to report on "The ONE-Man March".....
Two weeks after I returned from "The ONE-Man March" - I WAS ARRESTED, SUBJECTED TO A "STRIP-SEARCH" AND REQUIRED TO SPEND A NIGHT IN THE MONROE COUNTY JAIL! Allegedly for violating the above-mentioned Order of Protection which claimed that my production and distribution of the "fliers" promoting "The ONE-Man March" constituted "harassment" against my ex-wife and was "demeaning to [our] children".......
Last, but certainly not least, another significant purposes of The ONE-Man March was (is) to exhort and beseech all other parents to make a commitment to absolutely avoid deliberately and spitefully subjecting their own children to extreme "Psychological Abuse" by using their children as "weapons" against the children's other parent when the relationship between the parents dissolves or is destroyed.
A DIVORCE DISECTED:
To make a very, very long story at least a little shorter, I will begin by humbly accepting the untimate responsibility for the failure of my 13 year marriage.
After losing my secular job when my doctor placed me on disability leave and my "position" at my former place of employment was subsequently "Terminated", and my disability benefits were coming to an end, I taught myself how sew and started a homebased business as a Fashion Designer/Consultant, and a freelance writer and photographer. That is why I was blessed to be in the position to be a "Stay-At-Home Dad" and the "Primary Caregiver" for our two young sons after each of them were born. My wife and I lost our first-born son, Joshua II, who passed-away two days after he was born.
It is important for me to also explain the fact that, besides losing Joshua II, my ex-wife suffered an enormous amount of loss in her life, throughout her life. In three consecutive years before she was 10 years old, her oldest sister and each of her parents passed-away, after which she was separated from two of her 3 surviving siblings and raised by an Aunt. Later, her best friend, who was also her very first boyfriend, died also. These facts can shed much light into her behavior during our custody dispute.
Because of all of the loss that she had suffered in her life, my ex-wife was already admittedly very envious because of the fact that I was able to be a "Stay-At-Home Parent" - which was her dream and desperate desire. Hence, I became more determined than ever (albeit also desperate) to make the homebased business successful, especially for our children, but also to hopefully enable my ex-wife to be able to quit her job.
In fairly short period of time we had TWO stores ("Designer Boutiques"): One on the very trendy and prestigeous Park Avenue here in Rochester, and the other right on the boardwalk on Charlotte Beach, becoming the very first non-food vendor to ever be awarded a contract to open a shop in the historic Ontario Beach Park bathhouse. Not bad considering the fact that I started the business only a few years earlier with a grocery bag of fabric remnants and an occasionally inoperable used sewing machine that my mother gave me after she got fed up with it and purchased a new one for herself. Many small-business owners often speak of starting their enterprises on a "shoe-string budget" - But I had to do so on a "bits and pieces of thread budget."
The contract to open my "Designer Boutique - On The Beach" in particular enabled us to finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and major success was no longer just a "dream" but clearly within our sights (although still some time a distance away). In other words, a lot of doors began to open to me and other opportunities began to develop. And for a while, my ex-wife seemed to be more excited than I was. Furthermore, her Aunt & Uncle (the ones that raised her and one of her siblings after their parents passed-away) was also impressed with my drive and ambition and my work ethic to the extent that they surprised my wife and me by purchasing a used conversion van with a clothing rack across the back, for our family and especially so that I could get transfer all of my fabrics and designs. And they also kindly took the initiative to purchase a new sewing machine for me!
The other side of that seemingly-shiny coin was the fact that my ex-wife and I had already drifted dangerously far apart, especially because my primary focus was raising and educating our two, young sons, who always had my undivided attention. And as soon as my wife returned home from her job and attempted to have as much "quality-time" with our son's as possible, I promptly thrusted myself into and became completely absorbed in the operations of the business. I would often eat dinner right at the sewing maching or on the floor admisdt yards and yards of fabrics. And I would typically be at the sewing machine until about 2-3:00am (long after my ex-wife went to bed). Then, a few hours later my ex-wife was on her way to work and I was absorbed in my most cherished responsibilities of being a "Stay-At-Home Dad".
There were also many very, very delightful, priceless and unforgettable times when my responsibilities of being a parent and those of being a entrepreneur were beautifully blended. Such as when either of our sons would help me cut some patterns and/or sit on my lap at the sewing machine helping me guide the fabrics. And other times that either of them would sit on my lap at the computer, helping me type in some of the words for some of my published essays and fashion columns etc. That was certanly a contributing factor when our older son, Evan was evaluated by the University of Rochester Learning Center as being "on the fifth (5th) grade level" when he was only in Kindergarden!
It is often said, and is very true, that "hindsight is 20/20 vision" and I now realize far more clearly than I did at the time, that I was neglecting my ex-wife's emotional needs as well as her physical needs by basically being totally absorbed in my responsibilities as a "Stay-At-Home Dad" when she was at work - And then becoming totally absorbed in my responsibilities of running and building a successful business (personally designing and making all of the clothes for two stores) as soon as she returned home from work. I was MOST DEVOTED to our children and gave the business the rest. But as far as our marriage was concerned, my ex-wife was left with nothing but most of our bills, since most of the revenues from my stores were reinvested into the business, and her job still provided us with our family's only steady income.
As I explained above, major success was finally in sight, but within a few short months a very interesting set of events unfolded: My ex-wife learned that she might become in position to inherit nearly $250,000. That was because her elderly Aunt and Uncle informed her that she was their choice to be the Administrator of their Living Trust. They even selected Yours Truly to be her backup, nstead of one of my ex-wife's four surviving siblings.
My ex-wife told me that she wanted me to give up the business. The prospect of gaining control of $250,000 understandably seemed like more than it actually is to an emotionally exausted (and neglected) young mother who's family was basically surviving from one of her paychecks to the next, and who's marriage was steadily dissolving and in great danger. So, her plan was to sell our house in the city and persuade her Aunt and Uncle to allow her to use the money in the Living Trust to purchase a home (in the surburbs) near their condo. And she basically believed that, if we did not have a mortgage to pay, she could eventually take an early retirement as a State Employee and then she and I could be "Stay-At-Home Parents" together - while working to fix our marriage.
Naturally, I believed I was thinking more practically (and more realistically) and with our children's long-term best interest in mind. Plus, I was especially striving to build the business to hand down TO our sons. I was also anticipating the hostility and the storms that would develop throughout her family - and head our way - as soon as her four siblings learned about the Living Trust and that they were essentially cut-out ~ while our family would have gotten a new house out of the deal and was all living at home off of their elderly relative's savings, etc. Not to mention the fact that I was selected to be the back-up Administrator instead of either of them, which I expected would cause some of them and/or their spouses to accuse ME of being the mastermind behind that plan and manipulating my ex-wife and their Aunt and Uncle.
Basically, her vision was too short-sighted, and mine was to far-sighted. I refused to basically give up the business, after which her request became an untimatum. I did not realize at that time that the main reason why she wanted so badly for me to give up the business was probably because of the fact that the time and energy that I was devoting to the business was the primary reason why I was neglecting her needs and why we had drifted apart. If I would have realized that at the time, I still would not have simply given up the business, but I certainly would have devoted as much time and energy as possible to come up with a suitable compromise. Especially since the health of our marriage and the stability of our family was as stake. Perhaps I could have sold the store and curtail my designing enough to sell some of my designs to the new owner and to some other stores (which, ironically, is one of the things that I told her I would do if necessary to provide a more stable income to provide for our children if I was awarded physical custody, after she issued her ultimatum and questioned my ability to provide for them as well as she then could because of the unsteady income from the business). That being said, however, she did not suggest any compromises either.
Besides the conversion van that they previously purchased, my ex-wife's Aunt and Uncle either offered or allowed her to use some of the money in the Living Trust to purchase another vehicle for our family, so she purchased a Ford Explorer. And besides the new vehicle she also had a new man in her life because she met a male co-worker who began to give her the personal time and attention that she deserved, which I had been neglecting to do. But I must shamefully admit that there was another woman in my life by then also.
Believe it or not, and as I will explain later, THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A DIVORCE OR CUSTODY HEARING CONDUCTED REGARDING OUR DIVORCE OR THE CUSTODY OF OUR TWO, YOUNG SONS. (so that questions like that could be asked and evidence could be entered, and a Judge could endeavor to make a "wise" and insightful decision based on the "Merits"). As a result, it is not known which of us actually strayed first. But, if it was my ex-wife that is irrelevant. Remember, as I explained earlier, I accept full responsibility for the failure of our marriage. So, even if she was the first to stray, I will give her "the benefit of the doubt" and blame myself for causing her to stray by neglecting her emotional and physical needs for so long, while I put the blinders on while focusing on building the business, and while I essentially sedated myself with the expectations that "success" would eventually fix everything and enable us to draw close together again - if it occurred soon enough - which it obviously did'nt. For the record, since it is actually "On The Record": my ex-wife did NOT divorce me on the grounds of "Adultery".
Nevertheless, it was about October of 1998 that my ex-wife told me that she wanted a divorce, and she also told me that she wanted (and felt that she "needed") to have physical custody of our two, young sons. That was perhaps because of all of the loss that she suffered throughout her life, as I explained above. She seemed to be unable to rationalize that not having physical custody did not necessarily mean she would lose her sons if I had physical custody.
Besides my own extremely close relationship with our two, young sons and my tremendous comfort in the position - THE ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS AND IRREPLACABLE PRIVILEGE - of being a "Stay-At-Home Dad" and our children's "Primary Caregiver", it did not (and still does not) make any sense to me for any fairly reasonable parent (who is truly concerned about their children's best-interests) to selfishly seek to separate their children from an extremely loving and extremely capable parent who has always been a "Stay-At-Home Parent" and their children's "Primary Caregiver" - in order to obtain custody and relocate the children and then have to put them in Daycare!?! Such parents indisputably place their own feelings far ahead of the feelings and the obvious Best-Interests of their children.
Throughout the four months that we continued living together after my ex-wife informed me of her intent to terminate our marriage, we had several arguments whenever we attempted to discuss the subject of custody of our children. There were days when my ex-wife and I did not speak to each other at all. Whenever we did attempt to talk about it - which, virtually became the only thing that would be willing to talk to each other about - I beseeched and exhorted her to consult a "Mediator". Of course, I was (and remain) absolutely convinced that any fairly intelligent and reasonable "Mediator" with at least a nano-ounce of integrity and concern about our children would agree with the logic (actually Lack-thereof) expressed above regarding separating two young children from an outstandingly capable and loving "Stay-At-Home Parent" who was their "Primary Caregiver" throughout their entire lives. My ex-wife admitted that she was convinced that virtually any mediator would come to the same conclusion, which is why she steadfastly refused my repeated suggestions to consult a mediator.
On the other hand, she was also equally determined to avoid going the traditional divorce route by presenting evidence and testimony to a Judge and then allowing that Judge to make a decision and issue a court order based on the "Merits". One of the reasons being the fact that, just a few months earlier, one of her sisters recently went through a divorce and lost custody of her two sons to her husband - and he was NOT a "Stay-At-Home Dad", like this MOST DEVOTED FATHER, and her sister evidently warned my ex-wife that the same thing would happen to her. That is, quite frankly, why she also avoided actually filing for divorce throughout those four months after she informed me that she absolutely intended to terminate our marriage.
"ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE & WAR"
(Even When The Worse Casualties Are Young Children?):
Sunday, January 24th, 1999 began like any other day, but my ex-wife casually mentioned that she intended to visit her elderly Aunt and to take our children to visit her also. I simply nodded in the affirmative. But when I later went through the garage on the way out to the van to get some business supplies I notices that our son's school back pack had been put in the back of my ex-wife's Ford Explorer. I opened the door to get it out and then noticed that several bags of our children's clothes had also been placed therein, but on the floor behind the front seats. I promptly called my ex-wife out into the garage and asked her what was going on and she did'nt hesitate to admit that she was leaving and not coming back - and that she was taking our two, young sons with her. I told her "Oh no! - You're not taking my kids away from me like that!", and I reminded her that she could leave at any time and not come back if she did'nt want to. Then I leaned into the car to begin to get the bags of our childrens' clothes and our older son's school backpack out, and she shut the door into my back. I then pushed the door open again and grabbed my ex-wife's head with both of my hands and shook her, while asking "What the H___ are you trying to do!" She pulled away and knocked my hands down and stormed into the house, again shouting back to me that she was leaving and taking the kids and that they were not coming back. She went to the telephone and called 911, while I proceeded to take our children's things out of her vehicle and then summoned our two, young sons into the living room and attempted to comfurt them and explain what was going on.
Throughout our 13+ year marriage that is the first and only time the police was called to our home - for ANY reason - except one time when one of the kids across the street shot a hole in our front window with a bb gun, and one other time shortly after we purchased and moved into our home, and one of the neighbors saw me entering our house called the police claiming that "a burgulary was in progress".
RPD Officers, Hamill (Badge # 885) and Gallipeau (Badge # 842) responded to my ex-wife's 911 call and she basically told them that she decided that she 'does'nt want to be married to [me] anymore and that [she] decided to leave and was going to take our children with [her] but that [I] would'nt let [her]." - SHE DID NOT EVEN ACCUSE ME OF BEING ABUSIVE AT THAT TIME - So, the officers simply referred to it as a domestic disturbance and told my ex-wife the same thing that I had told her in the garage: that she can leave whenever she wants - but that I do NOT have to allow her to take our children with her - especially since she admitted that she did not intend to bring them back. They also asked us if we would both agree to have them call one of the family counseling officers on the RPD's "F.A.C.I.T." Unit. We both agreed and shortly thereafter, F.A.C.I.T. Officer, Mark Scipioni arrived. It is extremely important for me to stress the fact that my ex-wife never accused me of being abusive toward neither her nor either of our childern during the two or three hours that Officer Scipioni was in our home.
After spending a few hours in our home carefully listening to and observing my ex-wife and me (and our two, young sons), Officer Scipioni also explained to my ex-wife the fact that she could obviously leave whenever she wanted, but that she had to realize the fact that, 'since the children [were] clearly very healthy, happy and well-adjusted, and obviously [were] not being abused, [she] cannot simply take them like that with no intent to bring them back, since [I did'nt] want them to be taken, and since [she] did not have a Court Order giving [her] permission to take them.' He then asked my ex-wife if she still wanted to leave and she said "yes", and he said they might as well go out together then. But the last words that he shared with my ex-wife and I just before he walked out (with my ex-wife) was: "Most of the situations that I've been involved in are much worse than this. Both of you seem to be very intellingent and reasonable people, and your two little boys are really sweet and obviously very happy. So, just try to come up with a fair agreement about custody - And whatever [either of] you do, PLEASE don't let the lawyers get involved in this!"
A couple hours later my ex-wife called and told me that she wanted to come back, but that she just did'nt want to talk about anything related to divorce or custody. I said okay.
THAT WAS BY FAR, THE ABSOLUTELY WORSE AND MOST IDIOTIC DECISION THAT I EVER MADE!
When I said okay, I was naturally thinking about what I thought at that time was best for our children especially since they certainly loved her and wanted to be with her too, and they were confused about why she left and concerned about where she was and if she was okay. BUT, considering what has happened to them since then, it was very gullible and naieve and the worse thing that I ever did regarding our children. In retrospect, I should have been more cunning and told my ex-wife that since she choose to leave me AND OUR CHILDREN (a decision that she even made that choice known two Patrol Officers and Officer Sipioni, and since she admittedly attempted to "FLEE" with our children) - I would NOT let her back into the house. And then, I should have initiated divorce proceedings myself the very next day, siting "irreconcilable differences" and stressing the events of the day before and her choice to leave and the fact that she did, in fact, leave me and our children.
WHAT AN IDIOT!, IDIOT!!, IDIOT!!! I WAS - AND I WILL NEVER - EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT HANDLING THE SITUATION THAT WAY.
When my ex-wife returned, all was calm and we were both polite to each other. I was'nt completely gullible so, the last thing that I did that night after everyone seemed to be asleep, was to tilt an empty coffee can against the door leading from the kitchen to the breezeway and garage. I had been sleeping in the living room and the front door therein made enough noise by itself, either of which I hoped would awaken me if my ex-wife attempted to sneak out of the house with our children again while they and I was asleep. My ex-wife ventured into the kitchen very late that night and asked what the can was all about, so I told her. She insulted expression on her face, but neither of us said anything else.
Monday, January 25th, 1999. My ex-wife did not yet leave for work and she said she was going to take our then-6 year old son, Evan, to school since his school was not very far from her place of employment. Evan approached me whispering that there was something that he wanted to tell me something but that he did'nt want his mother to hear him. I nodded to let him know it was okay, then, when he looked around and saw that his mother was not nearby, he told me: "mom told me she does'nt want me to get on the schoolbus after school because she's coming to pick me up, and she told me that we are not coming home, but I told her 'but I want to come home', but she said 'we can't.' "
I immediately approached my ex-wife and told her what Evan told me and I told her that I thus decided to keep Evan home from school that day and that I was going to call his school and inform them that we were having a family crisis and that I was keeping Evan home that day. My ex-wife then became FURIOUS and demanded: "Evan has to go to school!" I repeated that he was'nt, and then she shouted that she was 'leaving and that [she] was going to do whatever it takes to get [our] children - RYAN, I'M GOING TO GET MY CHILDREN - AND I'M GOING TO GET YOU!' (all in the hearing of our young children) She then stormed out, got into her SUV and sped away.
I called Evan's school as I told her I would, and then I was trying to figure out what I should do with our two, young sons, so that I could go to the Family Court and file for an Order of Protection against my ex-wife "On Behalf Of" our children. She obviously was NOT going to stop attempting to flee with them (despite what the Police and the F.A.C.I.T. Officers told her just the day before) - And since she was also so IRRATIONAL that she was even willing to attempt to flee with only our then-6 year old son, Evan - and to thus leave our then-3 year old son, Ethan behind!
I did'nt want to bring our two, young sons to the courthouse and the Family Court with me considering everything that they had already been through throughout the preceeding 24 hours or so. But I was also very reluctant to leave them with anyone else because I knew that if my ex-wife did'nt actually go to work and came back home and they were there while I was'nt, she would undoubtably take them both, and no babysitter could prevent her from taking them. Further, since my ex-wife was already clearely irrational, I was also very concerned about what she might do (perhaps to herself) if I did either take our children with me or to a babysitter away from our home, and then my ex-wife returned and discovered that our children and I was gone. I was in an extreme quandry.
A couple hours later, while I was still trying to sort things out and to figure out how to get to the Family Court to file a petition for an Order of Protection "On Behalf Of" our children, my ex-wife's vehicle drove up in front of our home - ESCORTED BY TWO (2) POLICE PATROL CARS - Afterwhich the two (different) Police Officers handed me a Court Order from the Monroe County Family Court stating that my ex-wife was granted an Order of Protection AGAINST ME, and for allegedly being physically abusive toward my ex-wife and both of our two, young sons. The two, (caucasian) officers told me that I must "IMMEDIATELY" leave our home and stay at least 1,500 feet from our home and from my ex-wife and from EACH of our children!
The officers told me that they would give me "a few minutes to quickly grab a few personal belongings". I stood there particially in shock and understandably indignant, with our then-6 year old son, Evan, clinging tightly to my right leg screaming and crying: "Daddy don't go - I don't want you to go!" - and while the two officers were reading my ex-wife's allegations annexed to the Order of Protection, shaking their heads. I bluntly told Evan that I had to go and that I was being forced to go, and that his mother was responsible. One of the police officers then told me should'nt tell our children something like that and he scornfully asked me: "what kind of father or man are you?"
The officers then began to rush me along, telling me "we don't have all day" and that they did'nt have to give me any time at all. I contemptuously told them that I operate a homebased business and that I intended to take some of my business supplies, which I put in 1983 Conversion Van, along with some of my clothes - but expecially as many of my important documents as I could think of at that time.
When I drove away from our home - AND FROM MY TWO, YOUNG SONS - that Monday afternoon, January 25th, 1999, I went straight to the Family Court and was understandably wondering why the Family Court's Supervising Judge, Ann-Marie Taddio, did not consider me to be "innocent until proven guilty"? And I wanted the opportunity to immediately give my side of the story. I also still attempted to file the petition for an Order of Protection against my ex-wife "On Behalf Of" our children as I was planning to do earlier that day. But since she had filed her petition first, the petition that I attempted to file was not taken seriously since it seemed to be simply filed in retaliation. I did insist on and was blessed to be able to persuade one of the Family Court Judges to order a Child Protective Services investigation. I was confident that a thorough and legitimate CPS investigation (including the testimony of the aforementioned Police and F.A.C.I.T. officers) would completely exhonorate me, while also exposing my ex-wife's egregious and unscrupulous attempts to seize an advantage in our custody dispute by falsely accusing me of being abusive.
To be continued.......