iZania Blogs

Next month, my husband and I will be celebrating our second wedding anniversary.  By all accounts, we're still newlyweds but sometimes it feels like we've been married a LONG time.

Nevertheless, we are still very happy and very much in love.  We are still learning about each other and not trying to change the things we don't like.  That's because we've learned you can't change another human being's behavior.  I believe you can change YOURSELF and that will change the way your mate responds to you.

Over the next 10 days, I'd like to offer some tips on how to keep a marriage successful and happy.  Now, I'm certainly not an expert but I've certainly made enough mistakes in my first marriage to try to get it right this time:

Tip Number One

Don't Raise Your Expectations Beyond the Bar.  Thinking that someone else can make you happy, trying to read one another's mind, wanting to do everything together, and wanting to have a perfect marriage are unrealistic expectations. They can create great barriers in your marriage. Hopefully, your expectations will include being able to lovingly resolve conflicts, to appreciate your differences as individuals, to respect and cherish one another, and to be able to discuss values and priorities.

Next time:  Learn How to Listen

For more great reading, why not purchase a copy of my book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age.  Chapter Two is all about making the right choices when looking for a mate at middle age.