iZania Blogs

Ladies and gentlemen.  I'm on the soapbox again and it's not a good thing.

First of all I must say that the key to a successful relationship with anyone must start with a successful relationship with God!

We all want a worthwhile and fulfilling relationship at some point in our lives.  But you can't expect to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right if you can't acknowledge the Father in the morning and thank him for repairing your mind and body while you slept or for even waking you up at all!  For blessing you with a home, nourishing food, warmth (or cool air, depending on the season and where you live) and clothes.  And even though God blesses us with transportation to reach the job that He blessed us with, we complain about the monthly mortgage payment, the rising cost of groceries, utilities and clothing.  The car that we need that isn't the luxury SUV that we want.  And the employer that we feel doesn't pay us enough while we do almost nothing there!

We don't speak to God to express our love for Him, we don't thank Him for the seen and unseen dangers that we avoid daily.  He is the One who protects everything that we own, our friends, our families, our health, our minds, our bodies and our souls, yet we perpetually take him for granted!  Without Him, we would have absolutely nothing!

If we treated a lover this way, we would be kicked to the curb in one day!  You can't deny that at all!  But no matter how much we ignore and take Him for granted, He's always right there!

Now, believe me, I'm

This is a reposted blog from one that I wrote on Yahoo 360 in June, 2006.  I posted it here because it speaks to what we need to consider when flirting and dating in the 2000's.  I believe that the reason why so many people are still single and we never relax, date and fall in love, is that we tend to complicate love.

When we kept it simple and brothers enjoyed a sister's company and sisters felt safe in a brother's arms, we produced healthy relationships and even strong marriages.  But then brothers became subject to financial audits and sisters were auditioning for the surprise one-night stand, both parties became very gun shy about being committed.

Let me stop preaching and get off my soapbox.  Here's the reposted blog below:

Back in the day, dating was simple. You could exchange phone numbers, talk to each other and even date without it seeming as though you are negotiating a business transaction. Now, it seems as if you have to pass a credit check, employment check, criminal background check and a test for STD's in order to consider having a monogamous relationship with someone. Judge Mablean Ephraim on television's "Divorce Court" has said repeatedly, "Look before you leap." However, when emotions, hormones and time are involved, this isn't always possible. That's the level that it's escalated to, especially in a large, metropolitan city like Chicago.

African-American men and women are on alert to become more selective, even picky, because of the growing concerns that have

Hi guys,

This can be related to quite a few things in life - work, family - if you're not getting that promo you want then they're just not appreciating you enough and perhaps you need to move on.  But lets look at it in terms of relationships.

I watched an episode of Oprah recently and it was great fun! They had a gentlemen who had written a book called "He's just NOT that into you" and ladies had lots of questions for him:

We have great sex when we're together and great times when we're together but he can go 3 weeks without calling me! Why?

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I'm ready for marriage but he just wants to travel the world and says he's not ready yet. Why?

I had the most amazing date with a guy 8 months ago but now he only texts and calls me! Why?

Simple none of those guys are into them!

Here's my take on the issue - Let's be honest if we have to start making excuses for someone, start justifying their actions, start reminiscing on good times past rather than glorifying on great times present this person is just not the one.

I'm speaking to the ladies but this is for guys too - if you have to doubt or question a person's actions on how they are treating you that person is not fully and completely valuing your self worth - YOU ARE NOT VALUING YOUR SELF WORTH. You need to commit to the value of you - you're number one and when someone realises that there is nothing that will keep them away!

Typical excuses:

I'm too busy - doesnt have time for you now and never

Where have all the good men gone?

There seems to be a conspiracy for women in the singles scene, a mystery that not even Agatha Christie or Sherlock Holmes can solve.  It's the mystery of the "Good Man".  They say he exists, he's been written about and sung about for years, surely not every Hollywood romantic comedy and Mills & Boonä novel can be wrong.  Somewhere out there for every woman there has to be that "Tall, Dark and Handsome" hero, yet for many women they just can't find that "good man".

So what is a "Good man"? Like many things in life this definition is subjective.  My simple definition is a man who is confident in himself enough to respect humanity and celebrate the beauty of life. There are many elements that can encompass this - honesty, kindness, passion that we cannot forget, but these lead onto subjective tastes and attitudes. He is a man who is proud in his own skin and with that pride carries his integrity on his sleeve. With this I propose that the "good men" are all around us! To be good is not just about being able to buy your partner the most expensive gifts or raiding Kew Gardens every evening for the perfect bouquet of flowers (although that helps! J ). Anyone can do those things in practice but in principal their hearts and minds are not true. 

So where is this elusive "good man" if he does exist?

He is out there but he won't come to you - you have to find each other.  "That's obvious!" I hear you cry.  But honestly how often do you go out with a