Disciplining out of Love
When we hear the word discipline, many of us think of things like being yelled at, getting in trouble, being spanked, or punished. For many these are normal reactions to children acting out or not following the rules, but a more effective and lasting way is to redirect them out of love. Here are 2 ways to make sure you are disciplining your child out of love! (Subscribe to this feed or my newsletter for more tips and to keep up with this series) CLICK HERE
Removing the ego
Understand they usually aren’t making these mistakes or committing these acts intentionally to start a battle with you; so don’t feel personally offended or attacked if your child forgets to load the dishwasher, or stays out past their curfew. Sometimes it’s as simple as forgetting because they may have a lot on their minds, or a little more serious like falling into peer pressure and struggling to stand up for themselves. So, before your ego gets charged and starts making the offenses personal and getting you upset, remember 1; that your child is a human being that will make mistakes and mess-up (just like you) and they are still learning. 2. If they are continuing to make the same mistakes or mess-ups, you may need to figure out a better, more effective way to get your point across; if they aren't learning then YOU aren't teaching! You might have to swallow your pride and challenge your ego to take a back seat and compromise with your child or even let them take the lead in some situations because believe it or not parents do NOT have all of the answers and working with your child instead of against them is better for all parties in the end.
Pick your battles
Not every action requires a reaction. Although it may be hard not so assert your authority or remind your child whose boss, stepping back and observing from a safe distance can allow for them to face natural consequences and gain a better understanding of the outcome of their choices. It can also help you understand their reasoning and it builds their problem solving skills.
There are some things my kids do that irks my soul, but when I look more closely at the offense, it's usually has nothing to do with them, but more to do with me; my past or something that happened to me in my childhood that causes me to be upset. For instance; my daughter dresses very, VERY different, some times she will even wear customes to school. When she comes out of her room wearing something I think is ridiculous I can literally feel the anxiety rise in me and I instantly want to tell her to go change! I learned that my anxiety has nothing to do with her style, but the fact that I know she is going to stand out and as I child, I never wanted to stand out! It was my mission to always blend in and wear what everyone else was wearing because when I was in kindergarten I wore this "ugly" outfit and I was so embarassed and humiliated I literally got sick and had to go home from school and THIS is the actual reason I have issues with the way she dresses! So before you get upset or something your kid does give you a "charge" wait before you react and decide if it's a battle worth picking!
I am SO excited to announce that after many years, I am following my passion of becoming a Certified Life Coach! If anyone knows me, they know I am passionate about making a positive impact and I absolutely love to help others grow, discover their best self and live their most authentic life! I've been coaching unofficially forever and now I am ready to live in my purpose, become certified and take my place in the world helping others succeed and most of all LOVE life!
When I told my 12 year old daughter I was taking the leap, she said, "OMG mom, I'm so happy for you because that's one of your super powers". She says that because I've coached her from being an extremely shy little girl to becoming a confident signed model, trained dancer, actor & vocalist (www.khyli.com)! I took off my parenting hat and coached her to be focused, accountable, purposeful, and most of all to be authentic to herself. Today (literally) she is studying acting & dance at Interlochen with world-renowned instructors (http://www.interlochen.org/about) and living in her passion!
Being a mom is definitely my greatest joy; it's what I'm most passionate about and watching my children so focused & passionately chase their dreams and live in a space I didn't even know existed at their ages made it easy to make Parenting Coaching one of specialties along with being a Transformation Life Coach!
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