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Darryl James
There are very few cases of men simply fathering children and willfully shirking parental obligations.
Studies show that even among men who use fatherhood to "express their manhood," there is a desire to remain involved in the lives of the resulting offspring.
Yet, the overwhelming concept of the Absentee Father is of a man who "donates his DNA," and abandons the child along with all responsibilities.
The notion of Black fathers abandoning their children is typically the stereotype that many Americans are comfortable with. And this comfort generally comes without any attention to research.
For example, how many people with that comfort would remain comfortable with the fact that there are actually a growing number of single parent households headed by Black fathers?
However, the fact remains that the overwhelming majority of children in single parent households are being raised by mothers, frequently in the absence of a father or father figure.
There are a number of reasons why fathers are absent from their children’s lives, even though the one that garners the most focus is the man being a proverbial "Deadbeat Dad," the father who willfully neglects to pay his financial obligations.
Some fathers may be absent because they were unprepared for fatherhood and are often unwilling, but have little say once the woman is pregnant.
Some fathers may be absent because the mother may not actually know who impregnated her, and other fathers may be absent because their assigned financial responsibility is far above their financial capability.
While society seeks to imprison men who fail to pay child support, few focus on the fact that 70% of fathers who are in arrears on child support earn $10,000 a year or less.
In short, the majority of men who are being prosecuted for failure to pay often can not pay.
And, even if there are attempts to be involved, including sharing the care of the child, purchasing groceries, diapers or other necessities, those attempts are discounted if the assigned financial responsibilities are unmet.
The net result when a father is unable to pay, is that he will probably disappear from the child’s life, after either running from the financial burden that he can not carry, or after being jailed for being unable to shoulder the financial burden.
These are the two most prominent results when Daddy can not pay, and while a great portion of society is comfortable with these results, there are some dire consequences of not having fathers in the lives of children.
There are a handful of pieces written about the consequences of absentee fathers, but generally the focus is on the male child. However, there are some very serious issues faced by fatherless females today, which stem from low self-esteem and very poor socialization with positive male role models in their lives as young girls.
These issues include fleeting and unstable love relationships with men, early experimentation with sex, increased out of wedlock childbirth and lower self-esteem. These issues must be addressed.
